Starting from Scratch, Again

I started a new knitting project last night. Before you ask what I’m making – you should know that I have been knitting for about a year now and I only know how to make scarves. This new scarf is tubular, knit with circular needles. This sounds simple enough and the guy at the yarn store insisted it would be “easier” than the long scarves I’ve done in the past. Tonight I’ll be taking it apart and starting over.

I have begun to understand that I’m not a quick learner. I have to try something, muck it up, learn from my mistakes (hopefully the first time) and then begin again. Sometimes I learn the first time around – other times I repeat the same mistake over and over again before I both understand and can do things differently. When viewing myself from the outside, this is more often than not comical. The view from the inside sometimes isn’t quite as funny – but as I’ve gotten older, it no longer surprises me as much.

This pattern is something that used to frustrate and upset me when it came to my body. If you read the blog or know me, you know I’m not blessed with a great deal of coordination. I often explain to clients that I am the opposite of a natural athlete, proving that you don’t have to be graceful or an athlete or dancer to be good at Pilates. One of the things I learned from great Pilates instructors is that I can find the work and do it well. The trick is that I have to learn the movement and become familiar with it first, then find the work. I see the same kinds of frustration with both my clients and friends and acquaintances who are struggling to improve their physical wellness.

My clients somehow think that they should “get it” right away. This is most common in a new client. They walk in, are exposed to something they’ve never done before, are asked to use their body in an entirely different way and then are disappointed because they aren’t Pilates super stars in two weeks. Those who have been at it longer begin to get that they will have good days and bad days and days they “get it” more than others. But they never seem to remember where they started. I have a mental picture of individual strength and flexibility at the beginning of each client relationship that sticks with me. Because of that, I can see the improvements, not just step by step but big picture achievements. The client almost never remembers were they started and they simply lament that they aren’t “better” at it. In reality, they’ve grown by leaps and bounds and have simply moved on to the next level. They also never notice the changes in their body (the way it looks) as quickly as I do. And when I mention it and they tell me that’s not so, we always manage to uncover that their clothes have gotten too big. Mmmm – imagine that.

But part of this entire process is letting go of what they thought they knew and approaching their bodies in a different manner. To say this is hard is the understatement of the century. We are talking about adults learning a foreign language – but it’s really more than that – it’s more like learning that the language they thought they knew is pig Latin and they have to start from scratch.

One of my jobs is to figure out how to teach that language in a manner that allows my clients to hear and understand it in their own bodies. Sometimes that requires undoing everything we’ve tried and starting from scratch.

How can or does this impact you? Well, I dare say we all have some physical achievement we are working towards. Maybe you want to run your first (or 30^th!) marathon. Maybe you are still trying to lose that baby weight and feel like your old active self again. Maybe you learned that your cholesterol is not where it should be and you’ve got to change your diet. Maybe you simply have decided to start taking the best care of yourself possible. Whatever the case, if you are finding that it’s taking you longer than you thought to figure out your body, how it works, what it needs and such, do me a favor and try not to become too frustrated. When something isn’t working – unravel that scarf and start from scratch. Learn from your recent experience and start again. I know we think that by 30, 40, 50, 60, or even 70 we should have this figured out  – but cut yourself some slack at the same time you persevere.

Now, who wants a scarf? This one should be done sometime next winter.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 15th, 2010 at 1:46 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.